fluffyicecream

INT. KITCHEN- DAY We open on a stack of books clearly labeled "Holy Bible" at the base of a refrigerator. As the camera pans up we see that the bible stack has a bit more variety. Some titles include: Instilling the fear of god in your children for dummies, The old testament, The new testament, 101 reasons the new testament is better then the old, 101 reasons the old testament is better then the new, 101 reasons "101 reasons the old testament is better then the new" is wrong, 101 reasons "101 reasons 101 reasons the new testament is better then the old is wrong" is wrong, and I think this is getting a bit silly. The stack ends just below the

DAY 5 (LOG 1): I have no words to explain how happy I am! Reproduction has occurred! There are now five fully grown Testificates! It's the summer of 69 all over again! Love is in the air! Well, it was, now Teddy and Sam II have to deal with the troubles of parenting. Or do they…because… you know… the kids are fully grown. DAY 5 (LOG 2): Sam II has turned out to be a terrible parent. He/she continues to live in his/her old house while all the offspring are currently rooming with Teddy. Perhaps they made some kind of custody agreement. Like my mom and dad, I'm going to cry in a corner. DAY 5 (LOG 3): I have heighted security ar

Day 4 (log 1): Teddy and Sam II have been giving each other the sex stare all night.  Meaning that there may be some baby making tonight, which excites me but in a weird kind of way. I believe I have developed a new fetish. Day 4 (log 2): they have been carrying on like this all day. Hours and hours of staring but no intercourse, this is extremely disappointing. Perhaps it would help if I left the room. Day 4 (log 3): in an act of pure boredom I have filled the compound with cows, Far too many to count. Day 4 (log 4): I have absolutely no idea why I did this. The Testificates are having a lot of trouble moving outside their house

Day 3 (log 1): I have no idea were Sam is. He/she is literally nowhere to be found. Although it may sound absurd, I honestly believe he/she fell through the toilet. As a precautionary measure I have boarded the toilet up with wooden planks. I guess Teddy is going to have to find a new way to relive himself (or herself). I hope he (or she) doesn't make too much of a mess. Day 3 (log 2): I have decided to expand the compound to include a new house. In this house I will put a new Testificate who I shall call, Sam II. It too will need to find a creative way of getting rid of bodily waste. This may get very unpleasant very soon. Day 3 (log 3): u

Day 2 (log 1): business as usual, like yesterday all Teddy seems to be doing is walking around the compound staring off into the distance. This experiment is beginning to become very dull. I have to do something to make it more interesting. Perhaps I should end the experiment early and release a zombie into the compound to see how well a Testificate can defend itself. Or maybe I could light the house on fire and see if Teddy can put it out. What ever I do it is imperative to do it as soon as possible. Also I think the pig may be looking for weak points in the fence. That little bastard isn't going to escape on my watch. Day 2 (log 2): in ord

Day 1 (log 1): I have confined an average testificate, who I call Teddy, in secluded compound in order to figure out how his people think and function. Its not necessarily a "compound" more so a house surrounded by a two block high fence toped off by a ring of cobwebs, however I'm still going to refer to it as "the compound". The house its self is about the size of an average testificate home and features a sleeping area, a dining/storage area which is full of all different types of food, and a bathroom. Day 1 (log 2): I believe teddy enjoys the outdoors, considering the fact that he spends most of his time outside the house. The only times

Don't Drink the Water by Max H. Wexler INT. BACK SEAT OF TAXI CAB – DAY The character known only as THE LAWYER is talking, loudly, on his cell phone. The lawyer: Lou, Lou! Listen! You'll be fine! (He pauses to listen to the voice at the other end) because you have me! We're gonna give those idiots what they deserve. By the time I'm done every body at Duff co. will be clearing they're desks. They don't call me the miracle lawyer for nothing. (He pauses once more) yeah, people actually call me that. Driver: We've arrived, sir. The lawyer (indifferently): Thanks. The lawyer pays the driver, with out looking at him, and exits the